Warhammer Goblins, Skaggs The Grand Arsonist!
|Skaggs strutted into the burnt out farm house, his pace measured and chest puffed out with exaggerated importance. The gathered gits stopped their incessant squabbling to hear what he had to proclaim again.
That’s not to say Skaggs held any kind of command, it’s just the last gobbo to interrupt him was still dead beyond the farm estates’ fence line. No one cared to get stabbed and then burned by the chief arsonists torch.
“Right! Lissen’ up yah scabby gits!”
From his vantage point atop and upturned milk pail, Skaggs eyed the mob slowly from under his oversized, behorned helm. “We dun gud ‘ere an like got some right propah gear” he held aloft an upside down silverware punch bowl, “like this ere’ Mee-thrilled helm of.. of.. Shiniest!”
A great shout went up, a few encroached upon Skraggs, but he bopped the nearest clawing mitt with his fire brand.
“Geet you theevin’ mongrels!” He lashed out again,” juss back right the sod up!”
He waited a beat, then continued.
“But this, this is nuffin’ lads. It’s barely worth anyfing!” He theatrically tossed it to his audience, their red beady eyes glinting with silver reflections. A massive ruck began where it landed.
Blows were exchanged, other gear was pick pocketed in the fight and at a glance, not every Gobbo got back up. Hog stood up prouder than most and carefully anointed himself wth the gleaming Helm of Shiniest.
“So when you lot are finished,” Skaggs continued, looking down upon all as he leaned both hands and his chin on the pommel of the firebrand.
“Looks good Hog, but not as good as this!”
With a flourish Skaggs drew out a bloody map section, torn, worn and forlorn. “This, is ‘Merica, or the States of United Related Places or sum’fink.. well, it’s a place in some kinda state and we’re going to make that a state of thievin’ and looting!”
Another shout of group glee went up.
“How far issit’ boss?” Asked Hog.
He took a blow to his new helmet, denting it, for his question. The cowed gits wowed at the damage Skaggs amazing firebrand did to the Helm of Shiniest.
“Don’t innerupt me yah git”
Recovering his regal pose, Skaggs held the map aloft, “We’re going by boat with those glum Mountain gits, they’ve arranged it, we’re part of sum kinda vangroup or convoy.. mob.. well we’re along for the ride lads! So pack your junk and lez leggit to Axe Bite and go smash some humie shacks in the States of United Humies!”
A cheer went up, everyone grabbed loot bags and charged after Skaggs. All except Hog, who looked down upon the dent on his new helm.
Besides Skaggs and his fighters, there are four more Unaligned Goblin gits. (Spear guy in back snuck into photo op again) Three of them are a bit more experienced than most and heap on the salvaged armor they find after each battle, then hang at the back, slow and well protected.
Thanks for reading!
– Sebastian
Something about this story feels really charming. Is one of those goblins Hog with his now dented helmet?
I’ll do a small guide to the crew, but Hog has a mini – you’ve gotten me off my butt to write up background for the raiders. 😀